How You Handle Shit Matters: On Consent Violations, Mistakes and Kindness in Kink

How You Handle Shit Matters: On Consent Violations, Mistakes and Kindness in Kink

Just because someone is a long-standing member of the kink community doesn’t automatically mean that they’re ‘safe’, ’sane’ or knowledgable — and just because some people have had good experiences with someone doesn’t mean that *everyone* has. People can talk about their experiences (positive, negative, neutral) however they see fit, but don’t think for one minute that two (or even twenty-two) positive references automatically negates *any* & *all* negative experiences that someone else might have had with that person, or…

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There is No ‘Safe’ Space In the Kink Community: A Consent Violation Story

There is No ‘Safe’ Space In the Kink Community: A Consent Violation Story

I originally wrote and posted this as a note on Fetlife several years ago. At the time, I still wanted to believe that the person in question did not have a history of predatory behaviour, and that this was more of a one-off event, so I was very careful about concealing their identity out of respect for them. However, recent events in my local community have proven that belief wrong. This incident happened locally during my first few years in…

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Mini Review: Blush Novelties Safe Sex Toy Bag (Large)

Mini Review: Blush Novelties Safe Sex Toy Bag (Large)

A few weeks ago, Blush Novelties hosted a raffle to win one of six uniquely coloured dildos, and I was lucky enough to have one of my entries drawn as a winner. The prize packs included a one-of-a-kind Luxe Mio dildo (which in my case, came in a wonderfully vibrant orange), along with one of Blush Novelties’ Safe Sex Toy Bags, in a size large. I plan on writing about the Luxe Mio at some point in the future, but…

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The Reality

The Reality

I’m never scared in my fantasies. I can take anything. Gracefully, eagerly, and without fear. I can let go fully and completely each and every time, giving in to y(our) every whim and fantasy without a glimmer of hesitation. Every harsh lash and even harsher murmur brings me closer and closer to convulsing, orgasmic, euphoric bliss. There is no doubt. No uncertainty. No second guessing (of you, or of myself). There is nothing but pure, complete submission and shameless lust….

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Review: Stim by Servant Sex Toys

Review: Stim by Servant Sex Toys

A few weeks ago, the kind folks over at Servant Sex Toys offered to send me a toy of my choice in exchange for an honest review. After browsing their website, I quickly locked my eyes on the Stim. The Stim arrived discretly enough in a well-padded envelope. Inside, the toy was sealed in a simple, clear plastic bag, with “Servant Sex Toys” and “Made in Canada” stickers on the front. Servant Sex Toys is an up-and-coming Canadian company that…

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Wish I Wasn’t Poly (Written by PolyHusband)

Wish I Wasn’t Poly (Written by PolyHusband)

Sometimes…. I wish that I’d feel jealous and a little insecure when someone was showing my girl a little too much attention. I wish I didn’t feel those little sparks of attraction when I meet someone new, wish I didn’t mourn holding back words and gestures of affection when they felt right, wish they didn’t feel right. I wish I had my one true love. I wish the bonds and connections didn’t form that same way all the time, wish…

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Review: The Satisfyer Pro 2 (v.2)

Review: The Satisfyer Pro 2 (v.2)

Pressure-wave technology hadn’t even been on my radar until my girlfriend brought over her newly purchased Satisfyer Pro Penguin one lazy February evening. Up until that point, I had only vaguely been aware of the Womanizer, and the hefty price tag and terrible name had kept me from giving them any serious consideration at the time. After unboxing the Penguin, ‘ooo’ing at its cuteness and letting it charge for a while, it only took one demonstration for me to realize that I needed to…

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When I Say That I’m Poly…

When I Say That I’m Poly…

…I’m not saying that I’m unsatisfied with my current relationship(s). For me, polyamory has never been about filling some kind of void. I could be perfectly content in a one partner relationship for a very long time, possibly indefinitely. I practice polyamory because I want to be able to explore the connections that I form throughout my life, and to express my affection for the people who are important to me, not because I need to have multiple partners to…

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Why You Should Have Your Own Toybag *Regardless* of Your Role or Orientation

Why You Should Have Your Own Toybag *Regardless* of Your Role or Orientation

This is primarily aimed at those who play casually and/or with multiple people, and might not be applicable (at least, in its entirety) to fluid-bonded partners. Some toys are porous and can not be sanitized for use between partners. Unfortunately, leather toys are on that list. There are things that can be done to minimize the risks of cross-contamination when using porous toys, but it’s difficult to eliminate them entirely, especially if the same set of toys are being used between partners…

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Why Bleach and Rubbing Alcohol *Aren’t* Always Enough

Why Bleach and Rubbing Alcohol *Aren’t* Always Enough

I decided to post this after reading a lot of Sybian Owner FAQs that included things like “I use rubbing alcohol & boil attachments between riders, so my machine is perfectly hygienic/safe”. The problem with this & similar statements is that rubbing alcohol, mainstream bleach-based products and boiling have not been shown to consistently kill some infectious diseases, such as Hepatitis C, which could come into contact with the machine through menstrual blood, skin irritation, or even due to micro-abrasions…

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