Review: The Satisfyer Pro 2 (v.2)

Review: The Satisfyer Pro 2 (v.2)

Pressure-wave technology hadn’t even been on my radar until my girlfriend brought over her newly purchased Satisfyer Pro Penguin one lazy February evening. Up until that point, I had only vaguely been aware of the Womanizer, and the hefty price tag and terrible name had kept me from giving them any serious consideration at the time. After unboxing the Penguin, ‘ooo’ing at its cuteness and letting it charge for a while, it only took one demonstration for me to realize that I needed to try one for myself. So, after doing a bit of research on the various models, I went ahead and ordered the Satisfyer Pro 2.

It showed up at my mailbox about a week later, and I was giddy with excitement. The research that I had done prior to ordering made me aware of the two different versions of the Satisfyer Pro 2 (the original version, plus a newer, more refined model), and I was fairly certain that I had wound up with the newer incarnation. I contacted Satisfyer directly to verify this, and was told that the newer Satisfyer Pro 2 (or v.2) has white retail packaging, whereas the original Satisfyer Pro 2 was packaged in a black box. I can’t speak to this personally, as I’ve only ever had my hands on the newest version, but hopefully it’s a helpful tidbit all the same.

My first thought as I unboxed my shiny new toy? Wow. This thing is weird. It looked like it should be a futuristic medical device (Star Trek hypospray, anyone?), not something that I would shove between my legs for pleasure. Although I am a fan of purple and pink personally, I will say that the gender neutral design and brassy coloration made me happy. I also really liked the smoothness of the handle, and the weight of the toy in my hands. It felt very comfortable, even ergonomic, at first touch.

There wasn’t much inside the box. Just the toy, charging cable, and a small users manual. It didn’t come with a wall-plug, or a storage pouch. The USB magnetic charging cable is similar to others in my collection, but the magnets are definitely stronger than most, making it much less finicky to charge. After letting it finish its first charging cycle, I grabbed my husband’s hand and we headed towards the bedroom together.

The first few minutes of using this thing were… awkward, to say the least. I wasn’t sure exactly how to position it, and it didn’t feel like much of anything at first. I spent the next little while uncomfortably wiggling it around, changing the speeds, pressing the nozzle directly over, slightly below, and slightly above my clit, getting increasingly more frustrated with it as the minutes ticked by.

…And then something weird happened. And I found myself in the middle of a totally unexpected, spontaneous orgasm. I couldn’t tell you exactly when things shifted from “I don’t think this is working” to “oh sweet jesus I’m orgasming”, but I can tell you that it happened very quickly. I remember looking over at my husband and literally squealing out “what the fuck is happeniiinnggg?!” in a fit of laughter as I’m laying next to him bucking uncontrollably.

And then it happened again.
And again.
And it was truly unlike anything that I had ever experienced before. 

Satisfyer Pro 2

See, my body is usually quite particular about how it orgasms. Normally, my orgasms are incredibly mentally involved, and I need to spend a lot of time building my climax up in my head through active fantasizing before I can get anywhere close to spilling over the edge physiologically. This has always been how orgasming has worked for me, so when this toy started pulling orgasms out of me without any kind of mental build-up at all, I was absolutely floored. When it happened the first time, I thought that it might have been a fluke. When it happened the second, third, fourth time in the same session, I knew that I had stumbled onto something awesome.

As you can probably imagine, it has very quickly become one of my favourite toys. Occasionally, I still find it positionally difficult, and I haven’t really figured out why it works better for me some times than others. But when it does work for me, which is luckily the majority of the time, it works like a champion, and I lose count of how many orgasms I have in one session.

Satisfyer Pro 2

The toy itself is made out of a body-safe, non-porous ABS plastic and comes with a removable silicone nozzle. It has 11 speeds, the upper half of which I sometimes find too intense, despite being a self-proclaimed power queen. It has an impressive battery life, and easily lasts me through multiple long sessions.

There are two buttons located on the back — a power button, and a navigation button. The speeds have to be cycled through one at a time, starting at the lowest speed, moving up to the highest, and then back down again, which is definitely one of the drawbacks of this toy. Another drawback for some is going to be the sound. Even this newly improved version is loud, and definitely not a great toy for someone who requires discretion. The back-facing LED light is also weirdly bright, and we often joke about how we should be using it to read comic books underneath the covers.

Satisfyer Pro 2

Although every model in the Satisfyer line-up is supposed to be waterproof, there have recently been some reviews that may suggest otherwise, so I have yet to try mine in the bath and probably never will. If you do decide to purchase one for yourself, this is definitely something to be aware of. At this point I basically treat it like a splash-proof toy, opposed to a waterproof one.

Issues aside, I can’t help but love the Satisfyer regardless. It has literally changed how I orgasm, and that’s not something that I say lightly. So, if you enjoy direct clitoral stimulation, stronger toys, or just want to try something different from the usual vibrator, this may still be worth giving a shot.

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All thoughts and opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.

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